Monday, August 30, 2010

First Day of School for Trace...and Mommy



Yes, my first born is now in first grade. I had to stiffle a little tear this year. I had no problem sending him on to big K but this was different. We are now entering the land of homework and spelling tests. Yikes! We've hit the big time now.
Tracer was so excited for 1st grade. He was so excited to go back to school. Which I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand I am thrilled that he loves school. I don't have to fight with him to get up, get dressed or brush his teeth. He doesn't fuss about getting on the bus. In fact the kid has his back pack on and is at the door 5 - 10 minutes before we have to leave ~ without my prompting. It's great. On the other hand...what does that say about me as a mom. That my sweet child is ready to pull a Tigger and pounce out the door out of my safe keeping.
Does it make me feel a little less loved...yep, sometimes. Does it make me feel like I'm losing my little buddy...yep, sometimes. Does it make me feel like he is becoming less dependent on me...yep, sometimes. Does it hurt...yep, sometimes. Is it good? Yep, sometimes.
It can hurt to see the independence rising in my child and at the same time it makes so proud. I wish so much that I could wrap my child up in my arms 24/7 and never let go. To be there to protect him in every situation. To make sure that his every need is met. To shower him with the love that he needs that we all know this world won't give. To train him in the way he should go.

Now its time for me to grow up. My son may be the one going to school but I'm the one who has learning to do. Because now...now its time for me to really place my child at the foot of the Father. To let Him wrap my son in his everlasting arms. To let Him protect him. To let Him take care of his every need. To let Him shower him with the love that only our Heavnly Father can give. To let Him not just teach him the Truth but show him the Truth and be his Truth. Is my job as a Mom done? Never, its just changing a little. As it should. How very thankful I am that I have the Lord of all watching over my jewels.




And just so you know Trace came home from school and pulled a Tigger getting off the bus and into my arms. Thank you, Lord. When I asked him how he liked 1st grade..."It was awesome!" Thank you, Mrs. Hicks. And thank you, Lord.

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